Sexy Summer Saturdays is a weekly post that Attack the Stacks, Book Love, Hackaroos Reviews, Sims-Sational Books, The Autumn Review, and The Bookish Babe created for fun, to spread the word about sizzling summer reads. I should point out here that I deserve no credit for the creation of this meme and I’m strictly a hanger-on. The others were all, “want to participate?” and I was all “sure, sounds good” even though I’m not really a romance reader. I want to broaden my horizons.
This review is for readers 18+ for obvious reasons.
Party of Three
By Daire St. Denis
Published by Carina Press
Publication Date: May 28, 2012
Determined to end a long dry spell, Tina is thwarted by her best friend, Des, who scares off the only eligible guy at their party. But Des more than makes up for it when she and her boyfriend, Josh, invite Tina to their own intimate celebration. The encounter awakens cravings Tina didn’t even know she had. She’s intrigued when the couple asks her to join them for two days of sun, sand and steamy sex in Santa Barbara. She should say no. But she doesn’t…
The erotic weekend is beyond amazing. But there’s something deeper developing between the trio-something Tina is not yet ready to explore. After all, their party of three can’t last forever-can it?
Once again, this is where I point out that I, like, never read erotica. You can tell this because when I saw the cover for this book my first thought was not “wow, I wish the picture was bigger so I could get a better look at that guy’s ripped abs” but “I wish the picture was bigger because I like that blonde girl’s hair. I wonder if I could pull that off? Probably not. My head would look like a bowling ball in a toupee. If I took this picture in to my stylist and asked her opinion would she have me arrested?”
Anyway, I don’t think there’s any secret as to what this book is about. Sex. Doing the dirty. The deed. Having the relations. Balling. Gettin’ freaky. Doing the nasty. Intercourse. Bumpin’ uglies. Rocking the shocks. Putting on Ye Olde Sexual Face. You get the picture.
Let’s talk about sex, bay-bee.
So here’s the thing. Desi is apparently the most generous friend in the world because she wants to share her hot, hot, hot boyfriend with her best friend. She’s also the creepiest friend in the world, because she wants to get sweaty with her bff of 20 years. I can’t imagine a situation in real life where either of these two things wouldn’t cause extreme awkwardness at best and hair pulling cat fights and/or restraining orders at worst, but maybe I just don’t find my friends all that attractive.
Just kidding. But really, I don’t want to sleep with any of you. Try to control your disappointment.
Anyway, after a party Des & Josh commit the ultimate party foul by coming into Tina’s bedroom, slipping into her bed, and performing sexual acts right in front of her face while she dutifully tries to ignore them while secretly listening intently. After about ten seconds of persuasion and half-hearted refusals she allows herself to join in.
Here’s the thing – if you are homophobic or in any way squicky about same-sex sex, you’ll want to avoid this one. Personally I’m ambivalent about it. It’s not my bag, baby, but I see nothing wrong with it and I firmly believe that what consenting adults do in the privacy of their homes is their own business. Just putting that out there because there is as much or more f/f sex in this book as there is m/f.
There is also a scene involving food and I won’t lie…I found it not so much hot as kind of ew. I’m not eating anything out of someone’s belly button, EVER. I don’t care if it’s delicious pasta or not. And by the way, let’s talk about gnocchi. When I want to get my swerve on in a way that involves naughtybits after having a meal, the last fucking thing on earth I’m going to eat is gnocchi. It’s a scientific fact that when you consume gnocchi it forms a fossilized brick which sits dormant in your stomach and causes intense gastrointestinal distress for no less than fifteen years before finally disintegrating. Any time I’ve ever eaten gnocchi I’ve literally been unable to get out of my chair for days afterward. I can just imagine eating a big plate of gnocchi and then trying to have sex. The bed would collapse on itself. Then the Earth would collapse on itself. Much like Grape Nuts, gnocchi are the Gremlins of food. As you eat them they multiply and the more you eat, the more uncomfortable you will be afterward.
There’s also a bit involving a cucumber. Can we discuss this for a moment? Is there a woman among us who hasn’t suffered the stinging shame of going to the store with a cucumber on her shopping list, only to be totally paralyzed by the fear that the smirking cashier will think you’re buying it for nefarious reasons? So even if you really only need that cucumber, you buy all of the ingredients for a salad that could feed 300 people just to avoid some acne-ridden twerp thinking you’re too cheap to invest in a real vibrator. Let’s put an end to the cucumber shame. Together.
Putting produce in your pants never ends well.
There’s also a bit about a client of Teena’s who is obsessed with her and turns out to be a real shitbrick, attempting to blackmail her into having sex with him and then getting all rapey when she still refuses. Here’s where the book completely lost me. I find nothing hot about rape. Nothing. I’m not going to get judgmental about people having rape fantasies or whatever because again, consenting adults in their own homes yadda yadda, I just won’t ever understand it as a person who has seen the after effects of rape first hand (not me, thank goodness). And I’m not trying to put words in the author’s mouth because I don’t know for certain that it was meant to be hot – I’m only assuming since it’s an erotica book. It’s just a personal thing to me that nothing is less erotic than rape. And the description of the rapist’s equipment is gag-o-riffic. Let’s just say that a tattoo is involved and leave it at that.
Lest I sound like I’m coming down really hard on the book, I’m not. It’s pretty well written and well paced and even though I have absolutely no idea how many pages it has, it’s a fast read. I can totally see where someone who was into erotica – particularly f/f – would enjoy it.